Xandiron's Birth Story and a little of his first 3 months

Xander was due May 3 or 4, depending on if you counted Leap Day or not, so to me he was due May 3 (I counted Leap Day). I've never had a baby early yet, but I always hope ;) However, what was more important to me than him coming early was that he came on his own, since I really didn't want to have pitocin. I was augmented with pitocin at Jeffrey's birth, and had been induced for both Amri and Jacob, and I really didn't want that this time. I also wanted to have a natural birth. I had tried every time and asked for the epidural each time at about 7 cm dilated.  I had wanted to take a hypnobirthing class but it just didn't work out for our (mine and Tyson's) schedules, so I had studied the book and tried to practice a couple of different techniques on my own. I have read MANY different natural birthing books, and I think they all helped, but for me this one and hearing the stories of the women in my ward who had tried hypnobirthing made the difference.

For the previous 3-4 weeks before my due date, almost every night about 7 pm I would get really intense hip pain. It was very odd, but it was so bad I couldn't sit or stand--I'd have to go kneel against a couch or bed for several minutes until it dissipated. I had had a TON of contractions throughout the last week of pregnancy, particularly on last Monday and really thought he was coming then, but they always stopped. I was getting a little worried, because I really wanted to attend Tyson's graduation for his Master's degree, but I wouldn't make it if the baby was born the following week.

On my due date, Thursday, May 3, I had an appointment with my midwives. I was 2-3 cm dilated and about 50% effaced.   I asked the midwife to strip my membranes, which she did. It really didn't seem to have any effect for at least 48 hours. Finally on Saturday morning I lost my mucous plug and had some bloody show. Saturday night I woke up about 11pm with a very strong contraction. FINALLY! We were getting somewhere! I used the hypnobirthing relaxation breathing and then went back to sleep after the contraction was over. Ten minutes later I woke up with another one. This went on--contractions every ten minutes -- all night. Even though they were ten minutes apart, they were very intense. I just kept trying to use my techniques and sleeping between the contractions to relax and rest as much as I could. At five am I started to perspire and feel nauseated, and I woke up Tyson. He got up and packed the last minute stuff, like our toothbrushes, and ate some breakfast. By the time he was ready to go at six am, the contractions had stopped. One hundred percent, done. It was SO disappointing! I went through that for four nights with Jeffrey before they kept going into the next day, and I wasn't looking forward to something like that again. I still felt totally exhausted, though, so I called a substitute to do the Primary music for me, and went back to sleep while my mom took our kids to church. I was so tired I only got up at eleven to eat something, then went right back to sleep until 2 in  the afternoon.

When I woke up at 2, I called my midwife Angela to tell her what had happened. She told me I could come into the office at about 3:45 and she would check me. Just before leaving the house for the appointment, the contractions started again, but they were not as intense and about 20 minutes apart. When we went in, she informed me I was about 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced. I was relieved to know all those contractions all night had at least done SOMETHING! She swept my membranes again and told me she'd go wait at the hospital until I was ready to come in. I told her not to bother, I probably wasn't going to have the baby for at least another day or two. Boy, was I wrong! Thankfully, she went to the hospital anyways.

Tyson and I drove home from the midwife's office. Almost as soon as we walked in the door, I knew I needed to get back to the hospital--soon. I tried to eat something since I hadn't eaten in hours, but I couldn't. The contractions were just too much. We got back in the van; I couldn't sit, so I kneeled on the floor and leaned on the back seat, just taking deep breaths. I called the midwife on the way and told her we were coming. Once we parked I could barely walk to the ER. A receptionist brought me a wheelchair, and I kneeled on it facing backwards and put my head down on the back of it as she wheeled me up to the delivery part of the hospital. We arrived about 5pm.

Angela was pretty sure I'd deliver really soon since this was my fourth--she thought I was ready to push as soon as I came through the door, but I knew otherwise. The contractions were really intense, but for the most part I felt pretty serene since I was able to remain pretty calm. When we got there a laid down on the bed as they quietly took vitals and other information. The nurse walked in with my midwife. I looked at the nurse quietly for a moment and said, "You look familiar." She smiled and answered, "Your name seems familiar." I looked at her for another moment and stated, "You have a son named Kai." She and Angela were astounded, but I remembered her. She was the same nurse I'd had when I delivered Jacob, and she's my favorite nurse ever. It was kind of a small miracle that of all the nurses at the hospital, I had the same one, my favorite, for delivering my second baby in Boulder.

 I wore my purple night shirt that reaches my knees rather than wear one of the awful hospital gowns as I continued in labor. I felt like I was a swinging pendulum, and swung between deep serenity and deep intensity, as they contractions came and went in waves. I walked around, sat in the bathroom, laid down, just doing whatever I felt like doing at the moment. The nurse checked the baby's heart rate now and then, and the midwife checked my progress a couple of times. I wanted to try getting in the tub, but the noise of the water filling the tub was so obnoxious that I asked Tyson to turn it off. I also had them take down the clock in the hospital room. I didn't want to see it, I didn't want to be measuring time by the clock. I could tell I was getting close and just wanted to be listening to my body. I was so grateful that I was at a hospital where they really just respect whatever you want. Everyone was very quiet and whispered when they needed to talk as I was in labor.

I'm guessing it was a little after 6:30 when I sat on the birthing stool and continued laboring there. I can't quite remember if my midwife told me I was ready, or if I could tell I was getting really close to pushing, but oddly enough I never really had the urge to push. With every contraction the pain was almost totally in my hips. My water still hadn't broken yet, and I was planning on pushing out the baby with it still intact (my friend in Boulder who had a home birth just six days earlier had her baby without her water ever breaking). It just didn't work. I seriously had NO urge to push, and it was so hard to try to push when I was in so much pain. I had been pretty calm up to that point, but I remember during one contraction just jumping off the stool and sort of marching around the room, saying, "I can't! I can't! I can't!" My nurse and Angela kept just encouraging me, telling me I could do it, and Tyson was so supportive the whole time, holding my hand or doing whatever I needed. It's the closest I've felt to Tyson during a labor. He just sat behind me on the bed and held me while I sat on the stool, giving me support and affection. It was awesome.

I had pushed for about 20 minutes and at one point Angela could see the bag of waters coming, but since I couldn't push effectively I really wasn't making progress. I really didn't want Angela to break my water because that was when everything always got so hard for me. I never would get an epidural until about 2 hours after they would break my water, it just always got so intense. Angela had respected whatever I had wanted up to that point, but she finally insisted that I get on the bed and she was going to break my water during the next contraction while I laid on my side, and the nurse was going to hold up my leg so I could stay on my side and not have to lie on my back. I remember it was dark outside and raindrops were hitting the window as this was going on. Everything went really fast after that. It was only a couple of more contractions/pushes/minutes and Xander was out. I remember just holding Tyson's hand, reaching down behind me and feeling my baby's head/hair, and yelling as I did one final push to get the baby out. Oddly enough, even though I remember yelling, I don't remember feeling any pain at that point. At 7:03pm my baby was born and everything was perfect as I held him and Tyson held me.

Although I've heard of after-birth highs, I just felt totally calm and serene as I held my new little boy. I could tell right off that he looked very different from my first three, and I just cuddled and studied him Tyson cut the cord, I pushed out the afterbirth, and had a minor procedure. Thankfully, I hadn't torn at all (I only really tore with Jeffrey). I got cleaned up and after things calmed down a little bit Tyson left to get the kids. My mom was on the phone when Tyson suddenly walked back into the house, and asked if everything was alright. She was quite surprised when he told her that I'd had the baby and was taking everyone back to see him when we had barely left less than three hours earlier! All my previous labors were so much longer and I'm so grateful that this one went quickly.

Tyson brought back my mom and the kids, driving though the dark and rainy night with a very cracked windshield (his kayak had broken and partway pushed out the passenger side of the windshield the day before) so he couldn't use his wipers. . .I guess it was kind of scary. I had been feeding little Xandiron until they showed up. When the kids came, about a full hour and a half after the baby was born, we finally had him weighed and measured, 8 lbs. 10 oz, and 20 1/4 inches long. Our beautiful baby boy.

Tyson took the kids and my mom home after a while, and then my postpartum nurse came in. Another surprise, it was my favorite postpartum nurse from when I had Jacob! She's a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well, and I really liked her. It was crazy that of all the nurses I'd had in postpartum with Jacob, I got my favorite one right off the bat.

The next day was just Tyson and me and Xander at the hospital--no visitors. I love that. I love the hospital. I feel like it's just like this nice hotel and I'm getting room service all day and have almost zero responsibility except for getting to know my little baby with Tyson. I know a lot of people who like home births, and I respect that, but for me I feel like a home birth would be less relaxing, knowing that I would have several little people wanting ME to be there for them, even if I did have help. It's just easier to be physically away from everything to truly relax.

Xandiron has been a great eater and sleeper from day one. He at for about two solid hours after he was born, and then slept for six hours. The first month he really only ate and slept. I frequently had to wake him up during the day for feedings, and the couple of times I didn't, he'd sleep for four hours solid. The first four weeks he woke up 2-3 times a night, then the next four weeks it was 1-2, and by the time he was two months old, he rarely woke up before 6 am. I had NO IDEA babies could be such amazing sleepers! Last night he feel asleep about 10pm and then I woke HIM up a little after 8am this morning because I was so uncomfortable from going so long without feeding. It's truly wonderful to get full nights of sleep on a regular basis.

Xander reminded me a lot of Amri when I was carrying him (I carried them both low, and they both kicked a lot) but now that he's born his personality is much more like Jeffrey's. Jeffrey ate and slept a lot, was very mellow, and yet advanced physically faster than Amri or Jacob (i.e. holding up his head, putting weight on legs, etc.) Xander has held up his head very well since about 6 weeks old and people always guess he is much older than he is (again, like Jeffrey). Even other people with babies that are only two weeks older or younger than Xander always think he is much older. Xander coos and is much more vocal than any of my other babies. At two days old he would grunt and do little noises and moans for a half an hour solid while he was sleeping. He started cooing and imitating noises a lot at one month, and still loves to coo back and forth with people. He smiles quite a bit, but rarely laughs. It's very, very difficult to get him to laugh, which is so different than the first three who we knew exactly how to get to laugh by two months.

Even though Xander is my fourth baby, we had several firsts with him. Here are the ones I can think of right now:
First time it took longer than planned to have a baby
First time we found out what the gender was by ultrasound
First totally natural birth with no medication
First birth that was less than seven hours
First boy name that doesn't start with J (although his two middle names do)
First time we had a baby at the same hospital as a previous child
First time we didn't get a video immediately after the baby was born
First time that we had our own place to take our baby home to
First time we didn't move within two weeks of having a baby (sort of)

Of all of these, having our own place to take our baby home to was the sweetest one of all. We were always in-between places when we had the first three and just two weeks away from having our own place (which is why we always moved within two weeks of having the baby), but this time we brought our baby HOME, to our home, and it was a very, very sweet experience that I'll treasure.

The whole natural birth experience was really intense but good, and I had the BEST recovery all-around that I've ever had from delivery, which is very important to me. Tyson also thought it was the best birth and really liked that I didn't have an epidural (he passed out one time when I had one). I did feel the closest and most connected to Tyson during this birth, and that's mostly why we don't have a video right after Xander was born--he was so with me during the labor he didn't have time or the opportunity to get anything set up. Although I wouldn't change having the epidurals with the first three (I'm especially glad I had it with Jeffrey when I tore quite badly), I really loved finally having the natural birth I'd wanted for so long.

I'll have to post pictures and tell about Xandiron's name in a different post, since this is MUCH longer than I'd planned! I hope you all enjoyed the story ;)